Zombies - Where's my instruction manual???

So it happened. The apocalypse is upon you. You did everything in your power to prevent it, but sometimes all the good intentions in the world aren't enough.

First things first. DON'T PANIC! We have no time for that silliness. When the herd of undead are headed your way, running around like a headless chicken only serves to make a bad situation worse.

Deal with the problem at hand and get to a safe location. Now - let's see what is in our emergency kit.

Supplies: The first thing you need is THE PLAN (tm/c).  I'm not talking about the plan in your head - this should be written down. The apocalypse isn't going to wait for you to be standing there so we need to make sure that your employees know what is going on. What is on your emergency plan might be specific to your business, but there are a few things that should be on every plan:

The Zombie Apocalypse and Public Relations

When the world goes to hell in a
hand-basket, will you be ready?

The zombie apocalypse is only one outbreak away.

When it happens, I have a plan.

And that plan goes into effect as soon as the first report of a zombie outbreak happens.

• Rush out and buy all the parts I need for my Jeep so that we’re not stranded on busy highways where hoards of zombies are simply buffet line of a cruise ship.
• I’ll also be making a stop over at Walmart to pick up any supplies that we’ll be needing. You know, the important stuff like food, water and camping gear.
• Get weapons. Lots of guns and swords (and a crossbow, of course).

I’m sure that I’ll have plenty of time to actually prepare once the zombie hoards start invading.

Right?

Jumping through hoops

Bob and Doug McKenzie rocking Touques
Photo from Wikipedia, owned by MGM

I’ve lived in Canada for 5 years now and I’ve embraced the culture. I use specific measurements like ‘wack’ or ‘Skiff’ (Wack being lots and Skiff being just a little – often used when talking about the amount of snow on the ground.), I have to have my Timmy’s coffee in the mornings and in the winter I wear a Touque. A touque, for those who don’t know, is a knit cap and referred to as a beanie in the states. It can sometimes have ear flaps or a pom-pom on top of it.

Now, I will admit that a touque is a good idea when it’s -35 degrees outside, but it’s more than just a knit hat. It’s a fashion statement and a true piece of Canadian culture. So not only have I embraced it, but I’ve also decided to have fun with it.

Zappos Customer Service Fail

I recently read the article 10 Best Stores for Customer Service from Newsweek. Customer service is a dying art, so it's nice to know that there are some businesses that strive for excellent customer service.

When I reached the tenth on the list, Zappos, it reminded me that I needed new winter boots, as my current pair each have a rather large hole in them. I jumped online and began the long and tedious task of finding a pair that would fit my size 12EEEE feet (yes, that's 4 'E's). I tracked down a boot that wasn't exactly what I was wanting, but was still better than the ones I owned and at $116 they were quite a bit cheaper than the Redwing pair that I liked which only came in 2E width. I also found a great cowboy boot that was onsale for $85 that also came in a size 4E.

Of course that price is in American Dollars, and since I live in Canada I figured I'd just end up paying a few bucks more. I also expected that the free shipping was probably an America-only offer. After a quick search, I found that Zappos has a Canadian Website and I moved over there.

WOAH! The Canadian website was awful to find anything in. It's poorly designed and the search function was nearly useless - Are winter shoes 'dress' 'casual' or 'athletic?' The price for shipping was $10 (returns, which Zappos has always paid for was $15, so you're out $25 if you get them and don't like them).

After a few minutes I was able to track down the cowboy boot, but gave up on finding the winter boot and called the 1800 number. They don't ship that brand of shoe. Fine, I understand that for whatever reason some manufacturers do not allow shipping to Canada; It is most likely because they can sell the same product in Canada at a higher markup which is good for them, but an awful pain for the consumer. I explained that the website was pretty frustrating and asked the Customer Service Representative (sorry, didn't get her name- I'm assuming it's not CSR, but that's what I'm calling her) if she could help me track down a winter boot in a size 12EEEE. Instead she began to talk about why the website was so bad. It wasn't because they didn't care, it was because it was the old style that the American version had originally had but because of Canadian laws and shipping concerns it was impossible to change the site.

HUH? Impossible to change the site because of Canadian law? I've shopped online from a number of sites that ship to Canada from the United States and most of them were fine, so why is Zappos having so much trouble? Seems odd that Canadian Import law would determine whether or not you could have an easy, customer friendly search function on your website, but I figured that was a matter for Import/Export Lawyers to deal with.

I attempted to steer the conversation back to helping me find a winter boot that would fit. CSR continued to tell me that they have had multiple complaints about the site, but there just wasn't anything they could do. "Ok, fine, no problem, can you help me find a winter boot?" She says sure and asks my size again and does a quick search before informing me that she doesn't see one in the search she did, but they probably have them and all I have to do is go to the Canadian website and search through all the shoes until I find a pair that fits.

Wow, that was helpful. I explained, again, that I had already looked but hadn't been able to find them (I kept ending up looking at either cowboy boots or tennis shoes, neither of which was particularly helpful) and she explained that she understood my concerns, but the website couldn't be changed because of...

Yeah, thanks - I got that.

It amazes me that a company that prides itself on their customer service experience would fail so bad when a customer called needing help. Is it because I'm living in Canada? Would it have helped me to explain that I was actually American so they could give me a bit more help? Should I just chalk it up to fate telling me that I have to wear uncomfortable shoes? Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion.

The fact is that I won't be buying anything from Zappos. Not even the cowboy boots that they can ship to Canada. You can't throw a brick without hitting a web designer, so I find it amazing that they can't have a better web page for their customers in the frozen white north. And it seems to me that a retailer that makes such a big deal out of customer service should be able to help a customer having a problem better than 'just keep looking, I'm sure you'll find what you need."

The biggest issue is that when I did ask for a complaint about the website and lack of selection to be made to the company I was told 'Oh, don't worry about that, I know there have been a lot of people upset with the website and shipping.'

Really? Lots of complaints? I've taught a lot of customer service classes and I promise that at no time have I taught that the way to make a customer feel better is to tell them that they are just one of many unhappy people so not to worry about it.

I know Zappos is an excellent company with amazing customer service, but in this case they failed. They lost a $200 sale, which doesn't mean much to their bottom line, but it does matter to me. Their customer.


UPDATE:

Looking back at this post, I realized that I'm not solving anything. Was there anything that she said that was really wrong? Probably not - though I was frustrated because she didn't seem to listen to what I was saying. Later I do plan on taking the conversation apart a bit - maybe look at how the conversation could have gone that might have made me a bit happier as a frustrated customer.

The customer is always right?

Some clichés have a bit of truth in them, but others fall flat on their faces.

Marshal Field, founder of Marshal Field and Company, based his stores customer service upon that slogan, believing that one should always put the customer first to make them feel special.

I can’t begin to refute the idea behind the statement.  Customers make our businesses what they are.  We can’t have a business without them, so we’d better make them important.

But it’s not the business owner who has changed the meaning of the phrase.  All too often customers take the phrase and attempt to prove it literally correct by dictating jobs they have hired someone to do.

In the graphic design industry, this is a common occurrence.  I’ve had many customers come in and tell me exactly how they wanted their design.  I had one person tell give me a list of things they wanted on their business card including their company name, her name, address, three phone numbers, email, a list of their services, 7 lines of text describing what they do and a picture of themselves (I did it and they were happy, but you won’t see that card in my portfolio any time soon).

If the customer is always right, why did I spend 4 years at a university and 1000s of hours of study to learn my craft?  Why am I currently in debt for thousands of dollars worth of student loans?  And more importantly – why would you hire me, a graphic designer, to design something you’ve already designed?

In any industry, you’ll find people who believe that they know more than you do.  They follow ‘The customer is always right’ as if it’s an iron clad rule.

The truth is this.  The customer is the customer.  They are the most important part of your business.  They should be treated well, made to feel important and cherished for who they are, but to allow them to dictate the way your business runs is foolish at best.  Who’s going to want to hire you when they see the horrible logo ‘you’ designed for your customer?

This holds true for any industry.  Chiropractors – If you let your patient dictate how their treatment is handled and they are still in pain, will their friends come to you?  Restaurateurs – Will you get repeat business if you prepare a meal differently than normal because a customer demanded it and it’s awful?  If you drive a taxi and a customer wants you to go the longest route possible, are they going to be mad at themselves or you when the fare is double what it should be?  In any business, I promise you that the customer thinks he is paying too much for too little.  Do you want to allow them to be right?

They may not always be right, but they will always be the customer.