Zombies - Where's my instruction manual???

So it happened. The apocalypse is upon you. You did everything in your power to prevent it, but sometimes all the good intentions in the world aren't enough.

First things first. DON'T PANIC! We have no time for that silliness. When the herd of undead are headed your way, running around like a headless chicken only serves to make a bad situation worse.

Deal with the problem at hand and get to a safe location. Now - let's see what is in our emergency kit.

Supplies: The first thing you need is THE PLAN (tm/c).  I'm not talking about the plan in your head - this should be written down. The apocalypse isn't going to wait for you to be standing there so we need to make sure that your employees know what is going on. What is on your emergency plan might be specific to your business, but there are a few things that should be on every plan:



1) If you’re not there, your employees need to get a hold of you, the owner. That’s priority number one. The apocalypse might not wait for you to be there, but you had better know it’s arrived a soon as you possibly can. Do your employees have your cell phone number? Home phone? This isn’t a time for emails and phone tag. Make sure they can get a hold of you quickly. There is NO WORSE FEELING for an employee than being in the middle of a crisis and not being able to get a hold of the boss.

2) Identify the immediate concerns and problems that caused the apocalypse and get them fixed. You won’t always be able to fix everything. Sometimes accidents happen even when there is nothing else wrong, but anything that can be fixed had better be fixed. This isn’t a cover up - it’s just making sure that it can’t happen again. The last thing we need during the zombie apocalypse is an apocalyptic flood happening at the same time.

3) Write it all down. The sooner the people involved can write down what happened, the better. If you and three employees were present for the event, there needs to be 4 written versions. They won’t all be exact since everyone sees things differently, but they all need to be complete. Don’t worry about blame. That really isn’t very important at the moment. Worry about the facts. Who cares who started the zombie apocalypse once the undead hordes are roaming the streets. Deal with that later when the main danger is past.

This isn’t the whole list of supplies. Every business will have a different apocalypse. The problems that happen at a restaurant are going to be very different than the problems that an online t-shirt business will have.

You know your business better than I do. Take a moment and sit down and consider what your apocalypse might look like. Will you have the fast zombies of ‘28 Days Later’ or the shambling hordes of the ‘Walking Dead?’ If you can identify possible problems that you may run into, write them down and figure out how you would be able to deal with them. Write down instructions for the apocalypse and make sure the people you work with know about them. Make sure they are written down. If the apocalypse happens, you may be too worried/busy/stressed to think clearly, so written instructions are essential. So, yeah, in case I wasn’t clear enough - WRITE THEM DOWN.

Once the apocalypse has taking place, you’ve dealt with the situation at hand and followed all your important steps that you have previously written down, it’s up to you to make the next decision. All apocalypses happen in different ways. But you’re already well on your way to getting ahead of the problem.

Take a deep breath and get your emergency vehicle and your weapons ready, because it’s about to get messy.

View the first article in this series - The Zombie Apocalypse and Public Relations

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